When I was five years old, I got lost. I was in a store with my mother, and I remember seeing the toy aisle.

I was so excited because my mother promised me a doll of my choosing that day. I wasn't sure if I wanted a stuffed bear or a doll, but I was eager to choose and take it home. I imagined all the things we could do together. I wanted to take it everywhere and hold it and talk to it and tell it everything. It was to become my best friend. I had already chosen a name even though I didn’t know what doll I prefer. I would name it Sparkle. I decided on that name because it was going to be a shiny spot in my life. I couldn’t wait to get it.

I asked my mother if I could look at the toys and pick out my new friend while she finished shopping. She told me that she would meet me after she finished up on the next aisle over and to stay there and wait for her. Overjoyed, I agreed and promised her I would, and I skipped down the aisle and started looking at all of the beautiful dolls.

I carefully looked at each one. I admired the pretty dresses some of them wore and the bright glass eyes some had. I was practical in my decision making and thought about all of the adventures we would go on and ruled out the ones with clothes that were too pretty in fear that they might get dirty. I also thought about how it would feel to hold them at night if they got scared and needed comfort. I wanted something soft. They were all so wonderful, and it was a tough decision. But I finally found the one that I would take to it's forever home and call my friend.

I carefully lifted him off of the store shelf and introduced myself. I told him that his name would be Mr. Sparkle and that I would always take care of him and love him forever. Mr. Sparkle was a rather plain teddy bear. There wasn't anything remarkable about him. He had honey-colored fur and dull black eyes and nose. He could've been easily overlooked. But what I liked about him is that he was shoved in the back of the shelf, almost hidden from view. I would've missed him had I not seen a big brown ear poking out from behind the blue teddy bear in front of him. When I saw him stuffed behind the others, I felt sad for him. It wasn't his fault that he was plain. I knew that I loved him all the more for being so plain in appearance and forgotten. I could almost hear him arguing with me, trying to talk me into taking something else. But I would have none of it. He was my bear, and he deserved to be loved, whether he liked it or not. I knew Mr. Sparkle was going to be stubborn. How could he not be? I'm sure he had been overlooked by many children and felt no need to want love from them if they had no love to give. I would make sure that he was loved sufficiently and told each day how genuinely magnificent he was.

I tucked Mr. Sparkle gently in the crook of my arm and told him we were going home. It was then that I noticed my mother was not there to meet me in the aisle. Even though I promised her that I would wait for her, I was too excited about Mr. Sparkle and wanted her to meet him. I walked over to the next aisle, but she wasn't there. I went to the next one thinking maybe she decided to look at something on that aisle before coming to get me. She wasn't on that one either. I then started panicking, and my heart was thumping wildly in my chest as I walked about the store searching for her. I didn't see her anywhere, and I was so scared! I held onto Mr. Sparkle tightly, and he brought me a little comfort. Hot tears streamed down my cheeks as I choked back sobs. I remember being approached by a lady, asking me if I was lost. I told her I was, and she gave me her hand to hold and told me to come with her, and she would help me find my mother.

I don't remember much else after that. I must've forgotten the rest over the years. But I remember what it felt like to feel lost. It's not a good feeling at all. It's a scary place to be. I felt like I would never find home again. Even though I was small, I felt tiny. I hate that feeling.

Have you ever felt lost, Like you need to be found? It's an empty feeling. Like you're hollow, and there is nothing inside of you but longing. I never want you to feel like that. I hope you find your way ”home.” If you ever feel lost, I'll take your hand and help you find your way. Just stay calm, breathe, and come with me. I'm right here with you.

Dream

The Time I Got Lost

Being lost is worth the being found.

~Neil Diamond